What was that about the customer always being right? (Adventures in Bookselling v. 13)

2009 at 1pm     Posted by Rebecca Schinsky

It’s been a while, so I figured it’s about time for another round of entertaining customer stories. I also figured that if I went ahead with this post it might encourage a certain coworker (he knows who he is) to finally write up the adventure he had more than a month ago so we can finally share it with you. Trust me, it’s funny. Until then, here are a few fun ones.

The difference between letters and numbers…apparently, it’s not-so-obvious.

A customer came in looking for a book called Chaloo. It’s something to do with philosophy, but it’s hard to find or out of print, and I couldn’t locate a picture of the cover or a link to a description anywhere. Anyway, the wackiness occurred when the bookseller asked the customer to spell the title, and she said, “C-H-A-L-zero-zero.”

Not knowing whether it was one of those weird titles that actually uses letters in the place of numbers like N9Ne or something, the bookseller typed it in the way the customer had said it. Whadya know,  there’s nothing.  “Are you sure that’s how it’s spelled?” he asked her. She swore that it was, but the bookseller decided to do some exploring and typed it in with Os in the place of zeros. Whadya know, he found it.

So he turned the screen around so the customer could see it and confirm it was the correct book, and he said “You see, it’s C-H-A-L-O-O, not zero zero.”

“Well, it’s the same thing,” she grumbled.

“No, ma’am, it’s not. You told me zero, which is a number. O is a letter.”

“Well goddamnit, let’s not split hairs,” she yelled at him.

The bookseller explained that he wasn’t trying to be difficult but that he needed accurate information to be able to find the title, and the customer just continued to yell and curse at him until he walked away.

So those people who say you don’t learn much in kindergarten? They’re wrong. Clearly, this lady missed the day that they explained the difference between numbers and letters. God only knows what would happen if she had to report a license plate number.

Today in botched titles…

The Great Gatsby has been a popular one lately.  I personally rescued a woman who had been frantically searching for it for half an hour….in the kids’ department, and a coworker retrieved it recently for a high school student who needed to read a book called The Great Gift by Scott Gerald. Mr. Scott Gerald, if you’re out there, please oh please write a book called The Great Gift so I can sell it to people like this and make you a million dollars. Ditto for Lee Harper, who could make a total killing, natch, which How to Kill A Mockingbird.

Did you know that Julius Caesar had a sister? And that Shakespeare wrote a play about her, too?  Another high school student approached a bookseller a few weeks ago and handed him a piece of paper with “Shakespeare—Julia Caesar” written on it. Of course, the bookseller knew what she really needed and gave her a copy of Julius Caesar, but she looked at him funny when he handed it to her, like she thought maybe he was trying to full one over on her.

And now for my favorite of the week….I’m sure it happens pretty frequently, but I still find it funny.

If you’re looking for these:

None of the words in the title rhymes with this:

‘Nuff said.

E-Nun-See-Ate!

This story was submitted by one of my coworkers. Enjoy!

So, I’m working back in kids when I’m approached by this woman.

Woman: Do you have any word list books?

Me: Do you have any particular grade level in mind?

Woman: No, just word list books.

Me: Okay, just to be sure I understood you, you did say word LIST, L-I-S-T, and not word-LESS, L-E-S-S?

Woman: Yeah, word list. L-I-S-T.

Me: Okay, here our are language arts books — here’s a few that have stories in them and accompanying vocabulary lists.

Woman: Oh no, I need something for a baby.

Me: You need a word list book for a baby?

Woman: Yes!

Me: Well, we’ve got the pre-K level stuff here, but they don’t really make word list books or vocabulary boosters for anyone younger. You probably want to look at some of the ABC/123 board books over here…

Woman: But they’ll have words in them!

Me: (sigh) Are you looking for picture books without any words in them?

Woman: YES!

Me: Could I ask why you described them as word LIST books?

Woman: That’s what my friend asked me to get.

Me: Do you think she meant word-LESS books?

Woman: (thinks) Maybe.

Me: (face palm)

There you have it, folks. Just another day in the trenches.