Connect
Sponsors
Currently Reading
-
Terms
The Book Lady's Blog is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Reviews and articles posted here are property of The Book Lady's Blog and are not to be posted elsewhere without permission. Please contact me if you wish to post any of my work, or any excerpt thereof, in any other location or format.
Miscellaneous
Meet Bookrageous!
Technical Stuff
Design Credits
Aug
12
Book Review: DON’T KILL THE BIRTHDAY GIRL by Sandra Beasley
2011 at 5am Posted by Rebecca Joines Schinsky
I’m beyond pleased to welcome my friend Kalen Landow with this guest book review today. Kalen is one of my favorite people on the interweb, always ready with a helpful suggestion, a book recommendation, or a snarky remark when you really need one. She’s also a 25-year veteran of the book industry and currently heads marketing and PR efforts for the trade imprints of the Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group. Follow her ongoing adventures in reading on her Tumblr, and say hi to her on Twitter @kalenski.
Published July 2011 by Crown
It’s times like this—when I have more to say in a book review than just the standard “I enjoyed this book very much”—that I wish I’d never abandoned my illustrious blog, Gobstruck. Alas. Most books I read require only a simple few sentences or maybe a few paragraphs, but sometimes a book hits so hard, so close to home, that I feel compelled to say more. Sandra Beasley’s Don’t Kill the Birthday Girl is one of those books.
Don’t Kill the Birthday Girl is a narrative about Beasley’s life-long food allergies. There are some funny stories, some terrifying stories, and a lot of things in between to make you think—whether you suffer from food allergies yourself or not.
About 3½ years ago, after struggling for nearly that long to find the source(s) of my ongoing fatigue, I was diagnosed with a variety of food allergies and sensitivities, as well as some environmental allergies and Epstein-Barr Virus. For the record, the true food allergies are tomatoes, cane sugar, yeast, and cashews (a late addition.) The sensitivities are wheat, corn, quinoa, celery, and carrots. Let me say from the outset, too, that nothing is forbidden for me (except cashews which make my throat tighten and my lips numb…) and I can eat any of these foods on a rotational basis. I’m lucky.
Sandra Beasley isn’t as lucky. She was born with her multiple allergies, and she carries and EPI pen (ephedrine) in case of an anaphylactic reaction. She has spent countless hours in the ER, waiting through a reaction. We have very different challenges, but many similar ones, too. After several years of thinking of myself and my experience as separate from those with life-threatening allergies, I now see us as having more in common than not. The big difference? I won’t die if I eat something I shouldn’t. Otherwise, Beasley’s stories of making “Sandra-safe” choices, or curling up in a ball and sleeping it off when you accidentally ingest an allergen, are all-too-familiar.
My experience has been a roller coaster ride. Like any new convert, I jumped feet first into the challenge of modifying my diet and it worked. The fatigue let up; I felt like myself again. But here we are, several years down the road, and I’m finding myself in a different place. I’m “cheating” more and also finding myself being somewhat shy about asking for what I need, particularly in restaurants and sometimes even with my family. Sometimes you just want to eat a meal like a normal person, without asking a million different questions and requesting various modifications. And the result of that? I make myself sick.
One thing I’ve learned in all of this is that chefs in particular are (mostly) happy to go the extra mile for a customer with food challenges. Think about it—they don’t want someone getting sick in their kitchen. I nearly always check out a menu online before going to a restaurant, and I ask questions. Well, I used to ask questions. Now I just make a lot of often-faulty assumptions (I did that at lunch just this week and ended up with panko-crusted chicken while dining with a friend who didn’t know about my food “issues”). Beasley’s book was a gentle reminder that I need to keep asking. It’s for my own health. Yeah, it’s a little embarrassing sometimes, and I’m sure my husband gets sick of dining with the difficult customer, but if it makes the difference between being sick after a meal and not, well, it should be a no-brainer. Right?
The other “food for thought” I have taken from Beasley’s book is that I’m not alone. Sometimes this feels very lonely. My family doesn’t fully understand, in part because I give them confusing signals (both because I can rotate foods and also when I foolishly think “Oh, that doesn’t really bother me!”). My husband recently said to me, holding up a bag of tortilla chips I’d just had my head inside, “I didn’t think you could have these?” Well, technically I shouldn’t (corn makes me itch and also makes me agitated), but I love it, and lately I’ve been eating more of it—to ill effect. Now I’ve backed off the corn again, which I’m sure looks confusing to anyone who watched me eat a plate of nachos at The Hornet the other week….
In addition to being filled with anecdotes about her experiences, Beasley’s book contains a wealth of good science-based info about why we seem to be experiencing an explosion of food allergies, how they work, and some of the research being done in the area. She also dispels the myth of airborne anaphylaxis. If the book falls short anywhere, it’s in a lack of practical advice and tips for those maneuvering life with allergies, or the parents of kids who are. I hear great things about Allergic Girl: Adventures in Living Well with Food Allergies by Sloane Miller for that type of information, and I hope to read it soon. Anything I can do to empower myself and feel less alone, I’ll do it. Don’t Kill the Birthday Girl was the perfect next first step for me, and I hope others will read it and feel the same.
No related posts.
It sound like the perfect book for my sister’s birthday coming soon, I think it just her tast. thanks
Michael´s last [type] ..How to become an animator
[...] more: Book Review: DON'T KILL THE BIRTHDAY GIRL by Sandra Beasley | The … This entry was posted in Books and tagged always-ready, beyond-pleased, book-review, friend, [...]
[...] Read the rest Book Review: Book Review: DON'T KILL THE BIRTHDAY GIRL by Sandra Beasley | The … [...]
In some ways, it sounds like food allergies and the concessions they force you to make are a lot like having diabetes, which is something that I suffer from. I always feel like a pain in the ass when I tell the host of a dinner or party that I can’t eat what they are serving, or have to ask a chef to modify something that comes from a restaurant. I can also relate to letting things go after while and just slipping back into old habits because it’s easier, and because it gets tiring having to be so vigilant all the time. Some of my friends are really good about it and understand that I need to carry all sorts of safe snacks with me, and some even go so far as to pack these snacks for me themselves, but the majority of people just don’t understand. Not exactly the same issue as a set of food allergies, but somewhat similar.
I do have this book up for review sometime soon, so it was good to read this review and see how this issue can strike other people, aside from the author. Great post here today!
zibilee´s last [type] ..A Mountain of Crumbs by Elena Gorokhova — 308 pgs
I too enjoyed the book. She was the perfect one to write it–fluid writer, not very judgmental, a long view on the issue. I only wish she’d gotten inside the heads of some of the people who had accidentally sickened her. What does the kitchen staff think when they see her coming? I really missed that perspective in this book.
This sounds like a great book for people suffering from food allergies. I have had a few friends over the years who have struggled with years of paralyzing migraines, fatigue, and other issues that were continually mis-diagnosed, only to find out that these were caused by food allergies. I think that they would be definitely be encouraged by this book!
Sounds so familiar, I can’t eat dairy, or wheat and yet none of those are problems on medical tests and I know they cause problems if I eat them even if by accident and I’m sick trying to remember what I ate the day and a few days before that. Pineapple, strawberries also cause me problems, but a medical doctor is sure it is all in my head and I swear it is all in my stomach. Thanks and I know changing my diet has made a huge difference in my health and daily life. Lisa
My sister in law is plagued with food allergies; and this sounds like the perfect book to give her as a gift for her upcoming birthday! (I may have to snag a copy for myself too!)
Jac @ For Love And Books´s last [type] ..On My Wishlist
Lisa, please find another doctor! I have a fantastic immunologist–please keep looking until you find someone who will take you seriously.
Thanks everyone for the great feedback, and again to Rebecca for letting me borrow her blog.
Interesting. I often feel like I’m being a pain in the ass when I eat out and I get very anxious about it. I’m a vegetarian (my choice) and I have long list of food intolerancies (can’t help that one). As they’re not allergies I can have a little of anything but too much of one of my banned foods can make me painfully ill. Most chefs are happy to accommodate but waiting staff are less helpful in my experience and tend to revert to reading out every item on the menu in a “what about this?” manner so I have to explain one by one why that one won’t cut it. That doesn’t help the anxiety!
Nose in a book´s last [type] ..Something missing
[...] The Book Lady’s Blog [...]