Connect
Sponsors
Currently Reading
My first romance novel!Terms
The Book Lady's Blog is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Reviews and articles posted here are property of The Book Lady's Blog and are not to be posted elsewhere without permission. Please contact me if you wish to post any of my work, or any excerpt thereof, in any other location or format.
Books and Blogs
Miscellaneous
Technical Stuff
Design Credits
Mar
10
Book Review—Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation by Elissa Stein and Susan Kim
2010 at 10am Posted by Rebecca Joines Schinsky
Published November 2009 by St. Martin’s Griffin
Remember last March, when I celebrated Women’s History Month by talking about periods? Well, I had so much fun that when author Elissa Stein offered me the opportunity to do it again, I couldn’t say no. And who, really, could say no to this cover?
So, why a book about periods?
Because:
Swaddled with more supserstitions and nontruths than Bigfoot, menstruation remains hidden in a figurative box (scented, of course)…
In Flow, Stein and co-author Susan Kim set out to demystify menstruation and set the record straight about this most taboo of topics. And they start at the very beginning (a very good place to start) by examining the language we use to discuss menstruation, and as anyone who has taken Women’s Studies 101 can tell you, it is important to examine how we talk about something because the language and cultural scripts available to us affect how we think about it. Stein and Kim note that “people may talk about menstruation, but only when they reduce it somehow, dismissing it as the disgusting, eye-rolling nuisance everyone knows it is.” Basically, we feel like we can talk about our periods only when we want to complain about them or commiserate with fellow sufferers. I won’t pretend to speak for all women, but this is certainly true of my experience, and I come from a loud, proud group of active feminists.
In a world beset by genuine problems, how did menstruation become the ultimate taboo?
Stein and Kim follow their exploration of language with a chapter entitled “So How Did We Get Here?” in which they give a solid outline of the way our understanding of menstruation has evolved throughout history and debunk myths both common and unusual. (I had never heard the one about how a woman shouldn’t wash her hair during her period, but apparently it’s quite prevalent!) They take a look at female hysteria, that catch-all diagnosis for what we’ve come to know as symptoms of PMS (or being human, depending on whom you ask), and gleefully point out that we have hysteria and prudish Victorian doctors to thank for the invention of the vibrator. It’s also interesting that hysteria was considered a condition related to the uterus, which is, not-so-incidentally, “the only female organ for which there is no male counterpart.”
Following the chapter on history and hysteria, Flow continues with a look at PMS and then a very thoughtful, well-researched chapter on sex and religion. In support of their claim that menstruation has become the ultimate taboo topic, Stein and Kim point out that not even Alfred Kinsey thought to ask the women he interviewed a single question about menstruation, a noteworthy fact when you consider that he asked about pretty much EVERYTHING else.
Continuing with the line of thought that much of the mythology about menstruation has been shaped by men (who usually enjoy positions atop social and religious hierarchies), the authors encourage readers to question the origins of religious traditions that require menstruating women to separate themselves from the rest of their community groups and to undergo purifying rituals before they can rejoin the community.
By establishing a cycle of filth and cleansing made up of ritualized banishment and reacceptance, male-dominated society perpetuates the cozy myth that women are flawed, dirty, and routinely in need of being made clean again.
In the chapter “Society’s Role,” Stein and Kim give a nice breakdown of the three waves of feminism and their relation to the cultural dialogue about menstruation, highlighting the fact that the first commercial femcare products were introduced just after women’s suffrage, and fifty years later, Title IX and the Roe v. Wade decision (which upheld a woman’s right to choose abortion) just barely preceded the introduction of the first self-adhesive pads. The authors also include an illustrated timeline of the evolution of cultural dialogue about menstruation and advertising for femcare products and kitschy full-color insets of ads for femcare products throughout the text, in addition to a funny and thoughtful chapter dedicated to exploring advertising and the ways in which advertisers have successfully medicalized menstruation and turned it “from a natural function…into a veritable hygiene crisis.”
Stein and Kim, who really aren’t afraid to discuss anything, also devote an entire chapter to smell, calling for a reevaluation of the things we mistakenly believe about the smell of the vagina and all the smells related to menstruation. After all, most of these myths were created and perpetuated in order to sell a product, which goes back to the authors’ initial thesis that “whenever menstruation is mentioned these days, it’s only because there is an underlying sales pitch.” Preach on, Elissa and Kim!
The vagina itself has very successfully been treated in advertising as not unlike a kitchen counter, bathtub, or worse: i.e., as a foul, germ-ridden receptacle that needs to be vigilantly cleaned, disinfected, and deodorized before one can even think of having company over.
Flow also includes a fantastic chapter on first periods (complete with the requisite shout-out to Judy Blume and Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret) with pull-quotes from women the authors interviewed along the way, a look at period-related complications in “When Good Periods Go Bad,” and, to bring the conversation full-circle, a chapter on menopause. In “Outside the Box,” Stein and Kim discuss alternatives to traditional femcare products, which include menstrual cups, sea sponges, and cloth or reusable pads, and they wrap up with a list of suggested resources for those interested in learning to think about menstruation differently.
Stein and Kim cover much more ground than I’ve been able to review here, and this book is endlessly discussable, and those are just two of the many reasons I want you to read it.
Flow’s overarching message is that it is high time women took back control of the menstruation conversation from the femcare companies who have shaped it for many years now. Even the materials provided for those awkward “growth and development” classes are often designed and provided by femcare companies in an effort to create brand loyalty and secure lifelong customers! Throughout Flow, Stein and Kim provide clear definitions of terms with which readers may be unfamiliar, helpful background information about the history of feminism, and about a zillion interesting facts related to culture, religion, politics, and periods.
This book is thoroughly research, thoughtfully organized, fun, informative, and IMPORTANT! Stein and Kim have seized on an opportunity to reshape the way we talk about and think about menstruation, and if we can succeed in doing that, then the sky is the limit. I loved every minute I spent with Flow. I laughed, I cringed, I nodded in agreement, and I underlined like crazy. I learned all kinds of things I didn’t know before, and I revisited formative lessons from my women’s studies education. I reveled in the fun of reading this book in public and telling perfect strangers that yes, my book WAS about periods, and no, it wasn’t boring!
Flow is a gift of a book (and I’ll be giving it as a gift to just about everyone I know), and I can’t recommend it highly enough. To everyone. Because you shouldn’t have to be progressive, liberal, feminist, or even female to see the value in understanding something that essentially affects all of us. 5 out of 5!
Learn more about Flow by visiting Elissa Stein’s website, chatting her up on Twitter, and checking out the Flow channel on YouTube.
Come back tomorrow for a fun Flow giveaway! (And yes, it will involve talking about periods.)
I totally want to read this now! I finally got a menstrual cup, and it’s SO awesome. I wish I’d gotten it years ago! (Hope that wasn’t tmi, hehe)
TMI? Have you met me?
Thanks for an engaging and thorough and effective review. I’ve been wanting to read this book since I’ve heard of it; then I saw the tweet about the authors on The View so I watched that (which was great) and think I will seek it out NEXT trip to bookstore, possibly tomorrow. Does the book cover endometrial ablation? I’m amazed that I have a book on menopause that barely mentions this and yet all my friends are ecstatic to talk about “the best thing they’ve ever done.”
Oh, this sounds like a very interesting read! I often feel very weird/ashamed to talk about stuff like menstruation, but I would love to read a book about the cultural history of it. I’ll probably find out about how I’m partly programmed by conventions to feel ashamed of it
Very interesting. Also very intrigued by current twitter discussion. And I love the disclosure.
I’m trilled that books like these are available now. Nothing even close existed until I was in late high school (Our Bodies, Ourselves).
Keep on bringing these to our attention.
Oh, you will DEFINITELY find out how you’ve been programmed to be ashamed of it. And then you’ll be outraged by WHO is doing the programming. But then you’ll get more comfortable with talking about it, and that’s the beauty of the whole thing.
Was more concerned about other people reading comments.
I’m popping back in to add that I find it fascinating that not everyone’s 100% comfy talking about this stuff. lol I think because I went to a VERY liberal, tiny college that had an active women’s group, I just got accustomed to thinking it was normal to talk about, and that it wasn’t gross or anything. Am feeling very grateful for that environment now!
Yes, Eva, this is so true – many women are largely uncomfortable having such discussions. I’ve had endometriosis for years and have had two surgeries for it with accompanying biweekly gynecologist visits, so I became largely comfortable with the topic because I had to be.
I’ve long wanted to pick up this book. It touches on some of the ideas I incorporated into my Master’s thesis re: hysteria.
A couple more books I enjoyed in the same vein are Bachelor Girl by Betsy Israel and The Mommy Myth by Douglas and Michaels. The Technology of Orgasm by Maines is a really interesting look into the history and treatment of “hysteria” and takes the idea further that it was directly linked to a woman’s sex and period. All very interesting ideas.
Great review!
I, too, love the twitter conversation caused by this book. I was raised to believe that menstruation was a horrid curse that women must deal with. It was a very taboo subject that should not, under any circumstances, be discussed. As a matter of fact, when I got my first period I was given a book: “What’s Happening to My Body.” Sadly, that’s where I gained the majority of my knowledge until I learned “the truth” from my friends.
Fast forward a few decades and I’ve definitely opened up about the subject. Much to my husband’s dismay, I have no problem talking about it now! Great post, great book. I’ll definitely check it out!
Great post as usual! This isn’t something I have ever had a problem discussing luckily. So I would read this book
Eva, I’m glad you brought up menstrual cups b/c I remember trying them years ago but then box got thrown out in cleaning spree. I could not find them again in drugstores and thought they were off the market. I will have to try again.
Though I feel no shame about my period, I don’t think there is a book that will make me enjoy it
Stein & Kim refer to The Technology of Orgasm as well. Flow is one of those books that will make your reading list at least five books longer because you’ll want to pick up everything they’ve used as a source.
i want to see a man’s take on this book!
i’m fairly certain that my boyfriend will be horrified if i pick up this book, and for that reason, i think i shall.
For some reason the happy-face girl on the book made me think of those commercials about “Have a happy period”. I hate those commercials. My period is never happy! Always awful!
Er, that said, this looks really interesting! I shall read it for the Women Unbound Challenge!
Reusable pads are the way to go! I’m curious about menstrual cups… hmm, I haven’t seen them at the stores where I shop but it seems worthwhile to check out.
I’d love to read the chapter on smells and “over-cleaning.” It always seemed funny to me that we try to correct something that is 100% natural and normal for an entire sex. I’d love to make a few guy friends of mine read this thing.
Great review, Rebecca!
This book’s been on my radar since it first came out (but I haven’t been able to get @elissastein to follow me back on Twitter!), and the more I read about it, the more I want to read it. It’s generated a lot of great discussion, and I think it’ll push me out of my comfort zone.
Good to know they do address menopause, too, since I’m much closer to that end of the road
.
Thanks for the informative – and VERY enthusiastic – review!
I read my husband all kinds of fun facts I learned in FLOW. I think he found it genuinely interesting!
I have very vivid memories of my first period. I was prepared for it after classes both at school and at church. I noticed I’d started before taking a shower and I calmly took my shower and then went upstairs to tell my mother. She asked me if I had hit my head recently (WTF?). She doesn’t recall asking me that, but it made an impression on me. I then wrote letters to both my grandmothers telling them all about it. My dad’s mom got such a kick out of that letter and mentioned it off and on until she passed.
My youngest sister started her first period while she was visiting me after I moved to VA. I was so excited for her and she was decidedly less excited and, quite frankly, bitchy about the whole thing. LOL!
This sounds like a great book and I loved every bit of your post.
Brilliant assessment/review. I told Elissa Stein that I have sex when on my period and she said that was one of the most difficult subjects to get women to discuss. I just said “throw down a towel. what’s the big deal?”
[...] another perspective: check out the thorough review at Book Lady’s Blog. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Author Courtney Sullivan on feminism, sex [...]
Or jump in the shower if you’re feeling like acrobatics!
Ok, I will have to confess to skimming the review, but only because I already ordered the book (am eagerly awaiting it’s arrival) and I’m dying to read it in full.
I love the idea of books as gifts; every now and then I read a book and think it should be a staple, a kind of instruction manual for life – like upon marriage everyone gets one – I’m hoping Flow is one of those kinds of books. Tell me it is… Tell me it is…
Yours,
Megan
My sister-in-law wanted to check into that. Your friends would recommend it?
Did I not tell you in a previous comment that I just KNEW you would be talking me into reading this book? I was right!
Please say hi on twitter! I don’t do automatic follows—I want to make sure I’m talking to a real person and not someone trying to sell me a home in Florida or marketing strategies.
I can’t tell you guys how amazing it is to come across these FLOW conversations. There are still countless people out there who shut down at the very thought of discussion. When we sent out the proposal, 25 editors passed. No one thought the book would have an audience. One editor was outraged that the idea even crossed her desk. Most offensive rejection letter I’ve ever seen. And it was from a woman.
That doesn’t surprise me; don’t we react most violently to the thing that frightens us? It’s sad we could have gotten to the point that we are afraid of, hate, etc… our own bodies and natural cycles. (I’m on to talk, I have, ironically, been blogging about this very thing the last two days…)
I had a Holistic Wellness Store and sold reusable menstrual products (I use sea pearl sponges and LOVE them) and the women who came in…. they thought the whole idea was disgusting and gross and yes, a little offensive. I was asked EVERY time, “Do people really buy those things?” It amazed me… (though it shouldn’t because I thought it was gross till I used one myself…)
Yours,
Megan
LOL about your husband’s dismay. I’ve started using the “v” word around mine all the time because it makes him uncomfortable and I think he needs to get over it!
[...] @ The Book Lady's Blog Yesterday, I reviewed Elissa Stein and Susan Kim’s fantastic book Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation, and the conversations that followed both in the comments section of my post and on Twitter were [...]
They’re easiest to find in organic-y kind of places.
The Diva Cup website has a tool where you can look up stores in your area that carry them!
I loved this review! I tend to get a little apprehensive about picking up dense non-fiction books because I never seem to get through them, but this is now on my TBR list! Thank you!
Wonderful! This one isn’t dense at all. Very accessible.
[...] Lady’s Blog posted an outstanding review of Elissa Stein and Susan Kim’s fantastic book Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation. Today she’s hosting a giveaway for one copy of the [...]
I will most-assuredly be picking up this read as soon as I can get my butt to the bookstore. And will be sharing with as many girlfriends as possible. Thank you for over-sharing. I love it!!!
The more I hear about it, the more I feel that I need to read this book. Thanks for starting the discussion on it
I pretty much learned about periods from Teen magazine – my mom really didn’t tell me anything. I had no idea how to use a tampon, I’d only seen them in a magazine or under the sink, which is where my story comes in.
I was grocery shopping with my mom (I think I was around 12) when I had to use the bathroom. While there, I noticed that my period had started and since I didn’t have anything, I asked mom if she had anything in her bag. She handed me a tampon and sent me back to the bathroom.
I knew at least to take the wrapper off, but had no idea that the cardboard was an applicator and put the whole thing inside, boy was that uncomfortable! It was also an ordeal for me to get it back out once we got home. I waited until I was in my 20s before trying them again, that time reading the instructions first!
Over the past few years, I’ve come to the conclusion that since every woman gets their period, I am not going to be ashamed about it. My boyfriend is very considerate about it (he has a very outspoken sister and mother) he once asked me if the pain was really THAT bad – I told him it was like being castrated with a grapefruit spoon. He has been even more sympathetic since!
What can I say, I have always been a little uncomfortable with the discussions myself though last year when I read your review of The Little Red Book I immediately went out and purchased it and LOVED it! What a great book. When people see it on my shelf their first reaction is always to cringe, and I haven’t had much luck in lending it out.
This book sounds great and I can’t wait to pick it up either. I was flying home from a work trip yesterday and asked in 4 different airport bookshops for this book and every time I got funny looks and an answer that no, they did not have the book. lol.
Yes, as do I. I’ll probably end up writing about it for my entry to win the book.
Woo hoo, found the book in Toronto, for which I am glad as I know my small local bookstore won’t have it!
So glad you found it! I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
[...] (that hosted a girls-only sex toy party every Valentine’s Day). So when I saw Rebecca’s review of Flow: the Cultural History of Menstruation by Elissa Stein and Susan Kim, I was SO there! In fact, I mentioned my recent conversion to a menstrual cup (a small, flexible [...]
[...] this was the week it went menstrual. I reviewed Elissa Stein & Susan Kim’s fantastic book Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation, and the conversations that have followed have been nothing short of fascinating. I’m giving [...]
[...] (that hosted a girls-only sex toy party every Valentine’s Day). So when I saw Rebecca’s review of Flow: the Cultural History of Menstruation by Elissa Stein and Susan Kim, I was SO there! In fact, I mentioned my recent conversion to a menstrual cup (a small, flexible [...]
[...] was for the great cause of raising awareness of Elissa Stein and Susan Kim’s fantabulous book Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation. I haven’t had this much fun with a book in quite a [...]
I’ve been somewhat of a lurker and have left a comment here and there but now I’ve linked to this post and wanted to let you know…..http://anovelsource.blogspot.com/2010/03/musical-review-menopause-musical.html
I love, love, love that you’ve been talking about “the flow” and women and all the stuff that goes along with us. Thanks for getting the topic rolling!
Thanks, Stacy! I’m glad you’ve de-lurked to comment about something so fun.
Gosh, I admire your blog. You post what you want and you did it in a great way.
This looks interesting. The worst phrases I heard was during PSHE education (physical, social, health, education) at school and they were ‘aunt flow’ and ‘sanitary napkin’ – oh the horrors.
Last year my dissertation supervisor persuaded me to write about menstruation as I was focusing my project on the portrayal of the maturation process of girls in Grimm’s fairytales and little red riding hood with her red cape is so symbolic of that. It went down very well, although I refuse to let my grandmother read it. So if you wanted to continue your reading, I could recommened some interesting titles relating to it and literature.
Please do! I would love to do some additional reading on this.
I would be interested in those too
ok, i’ll get my dissertation out…buried somewhere and have a look for you both
[...] Rebecca at The Book Lady’s Blog reviewed a book about menstruation called FLOW, and it got me thinking about the few months I worked on a project for Procter & [...]
[...] Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation by Elissa Stein and Susan Kim: Review copy [...]
Ok as promised i’ve done a post and recommended some books for your reading.
Post is at http://5minutespeace.wordpress.com/2010/04/11/happily-ever-after-a-grimm-exploration/
I hope it’s all of some interest to you.
[...] my better-late-than-never discovery of Sarah Vowell. And then came In the Land of Believers and Flow and Just Don’t Fall (which I should have hated but ended up [...]
[...] at Chapters Indigo in Toronto. Rating: 5/5 Why I Read It: I originally heard about it from Rebecca at The Book Lady’s Blog and knew that it was a must read. Date Read: [...]