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Feb
04
Pillow Talk with The Book Lady and Bob
2010 at 4pm Posted by Rebecca Joines Schinsky
Just in case you weren’t sure about the level of nerdery happening at Chez Book Lady, I give you last night’s bedtime conversation, complete with the revelation of my husband’s far-from-original BIG DREAM. Clearly, the man is delusional and confused about several things. Also, we were watching Family Guy as this went down, and I can’t remember exactly how the conversation got started, but I think it’s fair to blame it on Seth MacFarlane….and my husband’s dark and twisty brain.
Me: What if I finally make good on that dream of yours and hook up with a girl at BEA and you’re not there to see it?
Bob: Yeah. Riiiiiight. What, is it like a 70s key party? You all drop your reading glasses in a bowl and draw out a pair to see who your partner will be?
Me: Not that kind of convention, babe.
Bob: So will people be dressed like wizards? How many people are going to have on Harry Potter costumes?
Me: Also not that kind of convention. BEA is a professional event.
Bob: Sure. So if not characters, do you dress as punctuation?
Me: If that’s the case, I call umlauts! I’ll get one of those headbands with antennae that have big balls on the end of each one. And it’s just so fun to say. Umlauts. Umlauts. Uuuuuuuumlauts.
Bob: Does Italics compete with Bold in the costume contest?
Me: What about Underline? Poor Underline doesn’t get any love these days. Quotation Marks usurped his power.
Bob: A person dressed like Underline just looks like Dash. And that’s just confusing because everybody knows that Underline likes to get down, but Dash is a mean little motherf#@ker.
Me: And Bold?
Bob: I think you know. (insert knowing look that means we both understand that Bold is a fatty.)
Me: (through giggles) Dude, you are cracking my shit up right now…..and how exactly does one dress up to be Italics?
Bob: You just sort of lean a little.
Me: So if you go as Backspace do you just walk backwards all day?
Bob: Oh, honey. So innocent. Everyone knows Backspace takes it in the butt….but anyway, is the head of a publishing house more like the Head Warlock of the Wizengamot or Gandalf?
Me: NOT THAT KIND OF CONVENTION!
[Note to my BEA roomies: I plan to keep my panties firmly in place....unless, of course, I need to throw them at a deserving author 
]
No related posts.
I would imagine the person dressed as a tilde would get to wear a sombrero…
My favorite part is Italics. “You just sort of lean a little.”
Yes yes yes!
I see the ampersand as a southern lady in a giant hoop skirt complete with fan, hat and a case of the vespers.
Oh my god, I love where these comments are going.
Oh my goodness… I think I may wet myself if I don’t stop laughing soon!
I think it is hilarious that the conversations at your house progress from girl-on-girl action to punctuation.
LMAO! The two of you are just awesomely cracked.
Jen, I just about spit water all over the screen when I read that. What can I say? We’re exciting like that.
So funny! I wish I was in the bedroom with you for this … perhaps if I get to BEA! HAHAHA!
I can only imagine the post-BEA posts I’ll have about Pillow Talk with The Book Lady and Trish (Hey Lady!). It’s going to be ridiculous.
You guys are twisted, but in a good way. Girl-on-Girl action somehow morphs into a backspace taking it in the butt. Love it.
Pretty sure I just about peed my pants laughing.
Hysterical (and Bob is truly twisted…or has a dirty mind
)
You got one of the good ones.
(I’ll donate my video camera to the cause, just to make sure he doesn’t miss out on any action)
Oh to be a fly in the wall in your house! I think I wet myself.
It’s both, Melissa. Oh believe me, it’s both.
This is hilarious!
My husband and I have some strange conversations at night too, but I think you have us beat
. But if you want to see costumes on the conference floor – and have the most nerdy fun possible – you have to come out to San Diego for Comic-Con.
Backspace just seems so…dirty now. I feel like a 12-year-old boy. “She said backspace.” huhuhuh.
OMG! You guys just took nerdiness to a new level! Love this post!
Hilarious! You guys crack me up
I cannot stop laughing. I seriously had to run upstairs to pee before typing this for fear that if I read anymore I might pee my pants!! This was absolutely hilarious!
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Check it out and pass it on if you like.
[...] Pillow Talk with The Book Lady and Bob [...]
OMG! This is hilarious!
We must get more pillow talk. I feel the need for this to be a regular feature. I love how the segue from backspace back to wizardry was just so seamless. I mean it takes skill to go from rear-ending to wand bending.
I promise to share pillow talk again the next time it is this funny. Usually it’s more along the lines of:
Bob: Honey, scratch my back/arm/leg/head. Loooooove me.
Me: Dude, I’m reading. And it’s like 11:30. You should have asked me an hour ago.
Bob: But I’m asking now. Attend to me! (thrusts arm/leg/head my way to encourage scratching)
Me: Ugh. Okay. (twisting around to finagle a way to both read and scratch).
But I have to say, if it’s going to elicit comments with phrases like “rear-ending to wand bending,” I’ll do this as often as I can!
Oh my gosh. Hilarious!
You got me more with that last one though. My husband has stopped asking and just started worming his way in between me and my book. The head-scratching just absent-mindedly happens from there.
Hey, you can tell Bob I totally resent that – I’m over 50 and don’t need reading glasses. We use bookmarks instead!
[...] Pillow Talk with The Book Lady and Bob [...]