The first chapter is called Hookups that Fell Down – so it naturally is only going to be negative. Why? I received an incredible amount of stories on this with the EXACT same outcome and in my generation, the pressure to hookup is ridiculous. So because of the overwhelming number of stories I felt the emotional damage that came with hooking up deserved it’s own chapter. I DO think hooking up can work but from my observation and experience successful hookups are the minority. Please notice the last question in the Q & A is about the bright side of hooking up, then the first story in the next chapter is about a great hookup! I did this on purpose, to try and keep the balance.

As I mentioned, Chapter 1 was only focusing on hookups the fell down. For this reason I felt stories on positive hookups belonged with the other positive stories. Good sex is good sex! And I stand by this:
“Positive sexual experiences are created only through mutual admiration.” It’s rare that both people are going to have great sex when you don’t give a damn about the other person’s needs (be that physically or emotionally). But some DO get lucky!

In Chapter 3 I have a problem when people say this:
all of these pieces, happen to be negative.
No they’re not! Sometimes the writer had a great sexual experience BUT it just had an undesired outcome. Like in “Sex With You” and “It Rarely is Nothing” both of those writers loved the sex BUT they did not like the repercussions of their irresponsibility when it came to protection. That doesn’t mean the whole story is negative. And what about “Little Head” the story of a proud teenage father! Or “Second Chance” showing that you don’t have to be punished for eternity for having an abortion. Or “Never Say Never” which teaches that if you’re going to have unprotected sex and you catch something you have to be responsible and fess up to your partners – it’s not the end of the world!
YES having an unplanned consequence from sex is negative but to me that doesn’t mean these stories are. They all have positive elements in them and they are certainly not meant to scare, they are meant to say, plan ahead of the moment.

In concerns to chapter 5, I genuinely laughed out loud at “obnoxiously adolescent.” I didn’t want to open the book with this chapter because it would automatically turn youth off, especially anyone who is sexually active. I’m glad you appreciated it though.

Thank you for all of this. I have actually been reading Jessica Valenti’s “The Purity Myth” and it has opened my eyes to so much! Namely these great points you brought up:

It also irked me that so few of the pieces in this section (and in the book in general) were written by men, and the ones that were written by men all focused on the male writer lamenting his role in contributing to the tarnishing of a woman’s “purity.” One of them actually writes about his regret “for meddling with her wholesome purity,” and that was just too much for me, as was one writer’s meditation on the idea that she would someday be giving her husband “all of my heart but a used body.”

I agree it is irritating.

LAID is not the be all and end all of sexual education. I stress that several times in the book, namely at the end where I list other resources for youth to continue their education with. It’s a conversation starter, if you need proof just check out this novel I wrote here!

Thank-you for this open forum. I absolutely love it!

I’ve seen a few sex ed type books for young girls but not really young boys. I’ve been talking to him and so has his Dad but I can tell he’d rather just read something.