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Sep
12
My first time [with Judy Blume's FOREVER]
2009 at 8pm Posted by Rebecca Joines Schinsky
How did I manage to survive my teenage years without ever reading this book? Seriously, people. It’s not like I didn’t know about the wonders of Judy Blume.
I first read Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret when I was in fourth grade (I’m pretty sure my parents had no idea what it was about and probably felt safe because it had the word God in the title), and then I re-read it countless times throughout the next few years, which I spent wishing that I, too, would someday have breasts the size of tennis balls.
I even tried Margaret’s “I must, I must, I must increase my bust” exercises, pumping my arms back and forth like an adolescent aerobics show host in front of my bedroom mirror, just waiting for it to work.
Ah, puberty.
If Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret is the literary guide to getting your period, then Forever is the guide to losing your virginity.
You see, Katherine is a high school senior who has kissed a few boys but hasn’t gone anywhere close to ALL THE WAY…then she meets Michael. And they fall in love. That fervently urgent kind of teenage love where every minute that you’re apart feels like a year, and the other person is all you ever think about, and the concept of staying together forever—even though you’re not even out of high school yet—seems completely realistic, and the biggest decision you have to make is when to have sex.
Remember back when sex was such a big, mysterious, unknowable thing?
Judy Blume does, and she presents Katherine’s worries, insecurities, and experiences with her trademark matter-of-factness. Many authors are able to recreate adolescent angst and the heart-fluttering, cheek-flushing, tingly-all-over feelings of young love, but none of them—at least none that I’ve read so far—handle sex and the “first time” with such honesty and skill. Katherine and Michael love each other and want it to be special, but Michael—the typical teenage boy—is ready way before Katherine is and occasionally expresses his frustration that she’s so slow to give it up. As they gradually round the bases, Katherine describes the coinciding elation and confusion she works her way through as she struggles to reconcile her desire to have self-control with her growing desire for Michael, and when they finally do it, it’s not perfect, but that’s okay.
Thank God for Judy Blume and the fact that she isn’t afraid to tell teenagers the truth about the first time. It’s not perfect. It can’t be. But if you know what to expect, and you’re with someone you care about, it’s an important first step. And then, of course, you get all the fun of practicing. wink wink, nudge nudge.
I read Forever in one sitting, and HOO BOY did it take me back. It made me remember what it was like to be Katherine’s age, fumbling toward adulthood and looking for guidance but not really knowing how to talk about it. I was lucky to have a mom who told me about the birds and the bees, and later about the Pill, and who wanted me to talk to her. For those who aren’t so lucky, have no fear. Judy Blume is here to tell you the truth about teenage sexuality.
Forever is about young love and first sexual experiences, and it presents a wonderfully positive message about how meaningful those experiences can be under the right circumstances. It acknowledges teenagers’ feelings and accepts them as real and valid, and it gives a healthy depiction of responsible sexual expression, complete with a visit to Planned Parenthood and a brand new prescription for the Pill. Sex is fun, kids, but you have to be safe, too, and Judy Blume wants you to know it. This book is readable and easy to relate to, and it manages to address important issues without being preachy. So I’ll say it again, you’ve gotta love Judy Blume. There’s a reason her books are still widely read and loved more than thirty years after their original publication.
(Unless, of course, you prefer to live under that rock where you can believe that teenagers don’t think about sex and aren’t having sex and really shouldn’t have any information about it. And if you can manage to convince yourself of that, man have I got a bridge I’d like to sell ya.)
If I could travel back 10 or 15 years and give my younger self a copy of Forever, I would. Especially if I could give it to the younger me who really did think that first boyfriend was forever.
I kind of wish I’d come across Judy Blume when I was a teen, but someone I missed her.
I was a Judy Blume addict in my teens! Your review of FOREVER brought back the book for me; and, yes, it has been close to 30 years since I read it. Ralph! LOL!
Oops, I meant somehow I missed her.
I don’t know how you got through your teens without reading this one either
. Glad you’ve caught up, though!
I always loved the realistic and responsible way that Judy Blume wrote teen sex.
Excellent review, you really took me back. My friends and I devoured this book when we were teens. I may have to re-read it. I think i remember being horrified because Katherine’s new boyfriend had a moustache, am I remembering that right?
I loved (loved!) Forever when I was a teen/tween – I’m glad you liked it
I *did* come across Judy Blume as a teen and all I can say is that you HAVE to read Tiger Eyes, if you want Blume at her realest, most heartbreaking best.
I think I read this one way back when. Is it the one with the invitation to the dance, the ring box at the antique store…?
I’ll probably be re-reading these titles when my daughter gets closer to that age.
I read Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret mainly because my name is Margaret ! I don’t recall reading any other books by her!
I don’t think I read Judy Bloom as a teen. I think I would remember, so I’m going to say that I didn’t.
No, no dance or ring box at the antique store, Tanya. Guess you need a re-read!
Yes! A mustache that curls down around the sides of his mouth. The description definitely made it sound like a 70s porn ‘stache!
s
I read Forever when I was in 7th grade. In 1977!
This is an OLD book…glad it’s still relevant for teens but I wonder if it isn’t a bit naive and I’m sure there is no mention of HIV which is really important today.
I read and loved Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret – but I’ve never even heard of Forever! I must rectify that, even if it is ten years too late!
I didn’t read this one either, and as an adult I too was wondering how I missed it as a teen. I remember doing the exercises from Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret. LOL! Didn’t help one bit!
You did an awesome job reviewing this, and I’m going to have to read it at some point.
Book Lady,
I could travel back 30 years. LOL I loved this then and I loved it again last year. I shared with my teen and she liked it. Of course, she could relate to why it was such a big deal to my generation. Or course, she laughed at the dated references.
Glad to hear you enjoyed it.
My Blume of choice was ‘Tiger Eyes’, the first book which made me cry. It pre-dated any experience of death in my ten year old life and I clearly remember debating whether or not one of my parents’ deaths would be worth finding my very own Wolf, and if so, which one could I most live without? Good old Judy. She was responsible for my first every literary crush and I can’t imagine what charting the waters of those tricky pre-teen years might have been like without her.
(I still try the exercises sometimes and hope…)
I must, I must, I must increase my bust! I was forever thinking about that in my teens years – scratch that. I’m still waiting and hoping on that one. LOL!
I’m going to have to check this book out. It would be something good to have on hand. almost 7 and almost 5 isn’t that far off from almost 17 and almost 15. Lord, I wish she’d write a book for parents heading toward their children’s teen years.
Are you going to be heading to the National Book Festival this year? She’ll be there.
There’s no mention of HIV in the text, but there is a “note to the reader” at the very beginning of the book that acknowledges how times have changed and indicates that if the story were written today, the Planned Parenthood conversation would also include info about HIV. You can always count on Judy Blume to be responsible with information like that.
Judy Blume? Seriously? I must have missed that when I looked over the list. I’m currently planning to attend (mainly for John Irving and a chance to hang with other bloggers), but now I HAVE TO GO.
I remember AYTGIMM. It was great. One girl had a copy of it and passed it around to everyone at school so that is all we talked about at lunch time. However, I’ve not read Forever. Sometimes I think it’s good for a parent to read a book like this just so that they can remember what it’s like for a teen.
[...] http://thebookladysblog.com/2009/09/12/my-first-time-with-judy-blumes-forever/ http://thebookladysblog.com/2009/09/01/big-release-day-catching-fire-by-suzanne-collins/ http://thebookladysblog.com/2009/08/26/writing-real-people-into-fiction/ http://thebookladysblog.com/2009/08/17/the-one-in-which-we-collectively-gush-about-her-fearful-symmetry/ [...]
Hi, I want to say hello after reading about your blog from Jennifer’s blog (Literate Housewife)!
Great review! I’ve this book on my TBR pile and I can’t wait to read it.
Happy BBAW!
OK, I know for a fact I read this book as a teenager — probably when I was 12 or 13 — but is it completely bizarre that I seriously don’t remember it being about sex? I remember the love story, and the desperation of needing to be with another person, but losing one’s virginity? Nope. I’ve got nothing. Like a black hole where that recollection should be.
I’m wondering if it all just went totally over my head . . . and I couldn’t process any of it, so it didn’t get filed away with all my other bookish knowledge. Regardless, I think I’m overdue to read this one again!
Okay, it’s not completely about sex. But there’s a lot of emphasis on it, and she writes about their first time and what it feels like, and Michael definitely names his penis Ralph and they have many conversations about Ralph and what he, ahem, enjoys. You must re-read.
I read this book as an adult too and loved it. Wish I had it when I was that age. However in my case, my first boyfriend is really forever
(though we went a looong way around to get together)
Talk about a trip down memory lane! I’m thinking I read this when I was in 8th grade … it was the big “forbidden hide-from-your-mom and pass it to all your girlfriends” books. I felt so dirty reading it (though I’m sure it seems so tame now). Of course, my mom discovered it and, to my chagrin, asked me if I had any questions. I did. I asked “What is coming?” I had no clue. It was so embarrassing … I’m blushing just now thinking about this.
i can’t believe you didn’t tell me about “are you there, god? it’s me, margaret.” in elementary school! i wonder if mrs. mundy would have approved? i didn’t read it until i was in a children’s literature class in college. i loved it, even as a 19 year old. i will definitely check out “forever.”
I definitely wish that I read this when I was younger. Not that reading it now wouldn’t still be relevant(ish). But still, I never read much Judy Blume when I was in high school, but I wish I did. The way you describe this books make me really wish I had a copy to read and reread whenever I felt confused about boys and all those scary things I was scared to talk about. My mom and I have a great relationship, but I never wanted to talk about sex with her. I still don’t. It just seems so wrong on so many levels. But having an author recount the same experience that I was living through a relateable character? That would have been perfect! I just wish that more teens read these kinds of books. I agree with you – I don’t live in a world where teens don’t have sex. But I would like to live in a world where teens are smart and safe about sex.
Please oh please tell me how your mother answered that question. My little sister asked me what an orgasm was when she was 13 and I was 15, and I flubbed my way through that one.
For fun, my book club read Forever a few years ago, It was just liked I remembered it, but so cheesy! I guess that’s pretty realistic, though.
The book stuck out most for me b/c parts of it take place where I grew up.
[...] My first time [with Judy Blume's FOREVER] [...]
I remember reading this one years ago and loving it. Blume is always so honest, especially at a time in my life when it seemed like others, probably parents mostly, weren’t. I should re-read this one.
How did I miss this book as a teenager? It sounds much better than the Danielle Steels my friends and I were using as our instruction manuals for life. Yeah millionaires don’t magically appear do they. Thank you so much for the recc. I am going to have to read it now and recommend it to my students.
I read probably every Judy Blume book except this one when I was a kid. I wish I’d read this one, too. Blume does keep it real, that’s for sure.
My daughter and I had to have the bird and the bees talk over the summer. She was 8. I wasn’t ready for it, but I think I did a pretty good job. I hope she continues to take me up on my offer to talk about anything and everything. I’m scared stiff about her being a teenager, but I better get ready because it’s going to happen soon enough.
i think it ended poorly, is there another book after it that goes along with it?
[...] Then I’ll sit through Nicholas Sparks (definitely not my cup of tea), get excited again for Junot Diaz (who I’ve heard can be boring in person, but I have high hopes), and then scurry over to the Poetry & Prose pavilion for Tim O’Brien, who wrote the only war book I’ve ever enjoyed reading. If time and space allow, I’ll then run over to the Teens & Children pavilion to end the day with none other than Judy Blume. [...]
I love this book but I think blubber was her best book.
These are books that I like to read. My mom doesn’t care as long as i’m reading something she doesn’t. It’s cool to because the book shows what teenage girls are really going through. Though I’m not a teenager but I here and see that to many girls are doing this type of nasty stuff. I love to read her books though i’ve already read two I need to read more of hers though. Every book you read by her you actully feel like your in it. Now I know the next time I go to the library i’m getting this. I take back the stuff I wrote about blubber this one is much better.
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