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May
20
Just call me Nancy Botwin (Adventures in Bookselling v.15)
2009 at 9am Posted by Rebecca Joines Schinsky
Before school lets out and we again enter that time of year where students perpetually ask for books like The Glass Menage A Trois and How to Kill a Mockingbird, I thought I’d share a few recent adventures from the bookfloor.
Overheard on the Christian Inspiration Aisle
Lady #1: Do you ever, you know, dig up dead things?
Lady #2: Dead things?
Lady #1: Yeah. You know, when you’re looking for something else and you find a dead thing?
(What else could she possibly be looking for?)
Lady #2: (insert awkwardness silence here)
Lady #1: I really like to dig up dead things. It’s like finding little treasures.
Just call me Nancy Botwin
Several weeks ago, a grungy looking guy in his mid-20s with a marijuana leaf on his baseball cap approached me to ask where the gardening section was. This happens occasionally and is usually followed by a question about whether we have books about hydroponics, so it didn’t really faze me. And it is always entertaining when the customer thinks that I have no idea what he’s up to. More entertaining, though, is when he, as this guy did, thinks I’m on to him and wants to convince me of his innocence.
As he picked up a copy of this book,
Grungy Dude turned to me and said that he was thinking about becoming a cop, and he figured the best way to start catching bad guy drug dealers was to know how they do what they do. Not a bad theory. But the bud leaf on your cap doesn’t exactly give you credibility, pal.
And don’t even get me started on the woman who rushed breathlessly up to the information desk and told me she’d been looking all over the place for this book for her 16-year-old son.
How am I supposed to hear that and not redirect the person to the parenting aisle? I mean, really. What kind of parent makes their kid feel comfortable asking for a book like this? Shouldn’t he have just ordered it online and hidden it under his mattress or something like other kids who know they have something to hide?
Acronymia
This conversation occurred between our children’s specialist and a boy who looked like he was about 15.
Boy: I’m looking for this book I heard about online. Supposedly, the guy who wrote Eragon copied pretty much everything from it.
Children’s Specialist (CS): Okay….
Boy: I think it’s called Loter?
CS: Loter?
(scurries off to computer and enters every possible spelling of a word like that, turns up nothing)
CS: I’m not seeing anything like that. Can you tell me more about it?
Boy: Well, it has dragons and trolls and stuff. The people on this one message board said it was a classic.
CS: (asking herself why she didn’t ask this sooner) Well, how was it spelled?
Boy: L-O-T-R
CS: Ohhhh. That stands for Lord of the Rings. It’s an acronym.
It’s not the size of the book…
It’s that time of year again when students start going crazy over last-minute projects and summer reading. An 8th grade student and his mother recently asked me to recommend a classic book for a school project; he was assigned to read a classic that was at least 100 pages and write a short paper about it. At the time we spoke, he had 4 weeks left to complete this assignment.
I always start this conversation by explaining that you’ll really be hard pressed to find a classic that is less than 200 pages, but that classic doesn’t always mean difficult, and you shouldn’t base the decision solely on length because there are some long books that are easy reads and some short ones that are really difficult (case in point: Heart of Darkness). I turned to the boy and said, “Well, what do you like to read?
Before he can respond, his mom jumps in and said “Sports Illustrated” with a smirk on her face. Ah, okay, I know where this is going now. “He’s not a very good reader,” she tells me. “He’s finishing 8th grade, but he’s at maybe a 7th grade reading level,” she says as he stands there looking mortified. “So he doesn’t really read much.”
Well, I figure, I have to find a book for the boy, not the mom, so I want to hear it from him. I turn to him and ask “Is it that reading is difficult for you, or that you just don’t like it?”
“Both,” he responds.
Fair enough.
“Okay, well, there are several classics that have really interesting story lines that boys tend to like and that aren’t too difficult. Let’s go take a look at Lord of the Flies.”
We walk to a table of popular summer reading titles, and I hand him a copy of the book and explain what happens. He seems decently interested. Then his mom takes the book and immediately checks the page count, which is just about 200 in this edition.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she says. “I don’t think he’ll be able to read this. What about something like Cheaper by the Dozen? Isn’t that a classic? It’s on this list I found online.” (hands me the list of Classic Books for Young Readers. Riiiiight.)
“Well, ma’am, that is classified as a children’s book, and since your son is finishing 8th grade and preparing for high school, my best guess is that his teacher will want him to be out of the children’s department. When is the project due?”
“Oh, at the end of the month.”
“Okay, so the book is 200 pages, but if he has 30 days to read it, that’s less than 10 pages per day. And this is a great book.”
“It doesn’t have any weird symbolism or hidden meaning or anything like that, does it? He won’t be able to get that.”
(Bear in mind that the boy is standing there with us and hearing all of this and that the mother won’t let him answer any of my questions.)
“Well, there is some symbolism, but the plot is pretty straightforward, and I think it’s a great, interesting book for someone who doesn’t really like to read.”
“Well, what about Black Beauty? That’s a classic, right?”
“Again, that’s a children’s book, and I don’t really think a 14-year-old boy is going to be into it.”
(We walk to a display of classics and I hold up some other boy-friendly books that are good for reluctant readers, but she deems all of them too long without even letting her son look at them.)
“Okay.” (turns to her son and holds up Lord of the Flies) “Do you think you can read this?”
“Uhhh, I dunno.” (He turns back to the summer reading table, obviously scanning for what appears to be the shortest book.) “Is this any good?”
“That’s a perfect example that you can’t judge a book’s level of difficulty by its length. That’s a book that the 12th grade AP students are assigned for summer reading. It’s translated from French and deals with some very heavy philosophy.”
“Okay. Maybe I’ll take this one.” (Holding Lord of the Flies)
Mom looks at me and says, “Well, I still don’t know. I mean, it only has to be 100 pages, and that’s almost 200. That’s a lot of reading.”
I reiterate my point about it being less than 10 pages a day if he starts now, and she responds, “You don’t understand. He plays a lot of baseball.”
Way to encourage your child to pursue his education, lady. Wow. I mean, even for the slowest reader (and this kid didn’t actually seem slow, despite his mother’s insistence that he was stupid), ten pages per day is pretty do-able. And you’re his parent, so you shouldn’t be standing here telling a perfect stranger how dumb you think he is.
If I hadn’t felt so sorry for the poor kid, I would have given him Kafka’s The Metamorphosis—it’s short, after all—and sent him on his way.
And one last thing
When you ask me for this book just hoping to shock me with your crazy request for a book we both know you don’t want, I know what you’re doing, and I’m not surprised.
Related posts:
- There’s No Shame in Bookselling!—Adventures in Bookselling v. 17 [guest post]
- So, a redneck walks into a bookstore…(Adventures in Bookselling, v.4)
- A Bun Dance (Adventures in Bookselling, v. 7)
- More holiday craziness! (Adventures in Bookselling v.10)
- Back-to-School Daze (Adventures in Bookselling, v.3)
I love to read about your adventures! They are always so hilarious!
I can’t believe that mother. To put her son down like that, right in front of him, is unbelievable!
I have no idea how you didn’t start throwing books at that mother! I can only imagine how miserable that boy must have been. You handled the situation well… much better than I would have!
Sadly, that kind of thing happens a lot, Jenn. And it’s appalling every time. It’s so weird—people with young kids come in all the time and try to tell us how their ubersmart 7-year-olds should be reading Dickens, and the ones with older kids all think they should be reading kids’ books. I don’t get it.
Sadly, that kind of thing happens a lot, Jenn. And it’s appalling every time. It’s so weird—people with young kids come in all the time and try to tell us how their ubersmart 7-year-olds should be reading Dickens, and the ones with older kids all think they should be reading kids’ books. I don’t get it.
Sadly, that kind of thing happens a lot, Jenn. And it’s appalling every time. It’s so weird—people with young kids come in all the time and try to tell us how their ubersmart 7-year-olds should be reading Dickens, and the ones with older kids all think they should be reading kids’ books. I don’t get it.
Omg those parents! What are they thinking!
Wow, you made me miss my own booksellin’ days. Oh the stories I have…
Are you sure that mom wasn’t related to the weed guy? Holy Moses! I would have lost it with her.
Wha? Urine Therapy? Who writes this stuff???
Thank you for sharing! I love hearing these things!
LOTR – LOL!!
I feel so sorry for that boy. I really hope he read all of LOTF and loved it.
I come so close to losing it with these people, Ti, and the only thing that stops me is that I already feel so bad for their kids….so I make it a point to direct my questions to the kid and try to make it as much about them and what they want to do as I can. But yes, it’s totally maddening.
I come so close to losing it with these people, Ti, and the only thing that stops me is that I already feel so bad for their kids….so I make it a point to direct my questions to the kid and try to make it as much about them and what they want to do as I can. But yes, it’s totally maddening.
I come so close to losing it with these people, Ti, and the only thing that stops me is that I already feel so bad for their kids….so I make it a point to direct my questions to the kid and try to make it as much about them and what they want to do as I can. But yes, it’s totally maddening.
No wonder that kid doesn’t like to read. His mother has convinced him that he can’t! Ugh!
That poor kid! Honestly, his mother should let him speak for himself instead of humiliating him in front of you. I hope that he discovers the joy of reading anyway and treats his kids better.
How can parents like that live with themselves? I mean, is SHE really that stupid that she doesn’t see what she’s doing to her son?
I think you’re onto something there, Jen. I’ve had enough interactions like this that I’ve concluded it’s not so much about the child as the parent….my theory is that when a parent looks at a book like that and feels intimidated, she assumes that because she feels like she couldn’t read it and understand it, she doesn’t want her child to be able to, either.
I think you’re onto something there, Jen. I’ve had enough interactions like this that I’ve concluded it’s not so much about the child as the parent….my theory is that when a parent looks at a book like that and feels intimidated, she assumes that because she feels like she couldn’t read it and understand it, she doesn’t want her child to be able to, either.
I think you’re onto something there, Jen. I’ve had enough interactions like this that I’ve concluded it’s not so much about the child as the parent….my theory is that when a parent looks at a book like that and feels intimidated, she assumes that because she feels like she couldn’t read it and understand it, she doesn’t want her child to be able to, either.
I feel so sad for that boy. I hope he finishes Lord of the Flies in a flash and show his mother. Natasha is right, he doesn’t read because his mother brainwashed him into thinking he can’t. You really handled the situation well.
I hope the other boy enjoys Loter, too! Lol!
Your adventures are my favourite part of your blog. Keep them coming!
Can’t you get some of those false square floor tiles installed? So when a mother like that comes in, you could push a button, and whoosh, she goes down and out the store. Poor kid!
Wow, that was a lot of bad parenting, especially that last lady. I don’t know how you don’t bludgeon people with books in the aisles. I bet the kid wished his Mom would shut up!
With a mom like that, I’m not surprised that boy’s not a great reader. Kids do live up to their parents’ expectations.
omg, I can’t believe I haven’t found your blog before (shout out to @mawbooks and @jennsbookshelf for linking to you on Twitter).
We have got to have the same customers – even though I work at a Large-chain-store (probably the same as yours, too) in the middle of the country – so there must be a dimensional portal so they can travel back and forth easily.
I’ll share a few short gems from this last week:
Customer: (comes running in the front door) Where’s your Christian fiction?
Me: Our religious fiction is right over here. What are you looking for.
Customer: Oh, I’m not looking for a book. Do you have gifty things like bracelets?
(?????What?????)
Fatherly looking man shows me a note with “No Fear Shakespeare Romeo and Juliet” written on it so I take him right to the display and hand over a copy. He says “Wow you didn’t even have to look that up. I thought this would be really obscure.”
Shakespeare? Obscure? Romeo and Juliet? Gee, that’s only the most popular play in the history of the English-speaking stage (maybe all of literature, who knows).
(and along the lines of the poor kid with the stupid and embarassing mom)
Mother: My daugher needs to read a classic for her final school paper (note: school ends in about a month here)
Me: (who has been summoned by another bookseller because I know all the titles/authors off the top of my head) Ok, is your daughter here?
Mother: No.
Me: O…kay…..what does she like to read?
Mother: She doesn’t.
Me: (inward sigh) well, what grade is your daughter in?
Mother: why do you need to know?
Me: because I need to know her approximate reading level.
Mother: but she doesn’t like to read.
Me: (resist urge to kill and after several mintues of haranguing finally determine that the poor kid is finishing 9th grade) Ok, I would suggest “To Kill a Mockingbird” – it’s a modern classic not very long so she should be able to get her paper finished.
Mother: She’s already read that.
Me: (inside: Gahhhhh!!!!!!!) cool. Here’s the summer reading display. I think you should bring your daughter in and let her choose a book for herself. She could also ask the school librarian for suggestions.
And I walked off.
Anyway. Great blog – I also love the weekly geek posts.
And I typed my email in backwards in the earlier post. Sorry. My bad. Need more coffee.
The 7th grader and his mother were a sad – and irritating – story. I hope he makes it through the book and the project!
“Loter” is a story for Not Always Right, though
.
This is one of the most entertaining posts I’ve read in a long time! Thanks so much for sharing your adventures!
And, oh -how sad- for that boy with his irritating mother. Like others have said, what a way to discourage him from becoming more of a reader! Grrr… That makes me really mad! I think I would’ve told her exactly what I was thinking, and I don’t normally do stuff like that! LOL.
MizB
Totally understand about the Lord Of The Flies young boy, too! We had one mother at our store who was so degrading and belittling to her kids, talking about how they never finished anything they start, they’re so lazy, etc. The oldest son was probably 17, and he once pulled me aside to ask me my opinion on a book he liked but wasn’t sure he could finish… and he desperately didn’t want his mother watching and listening to our conversation. Ugh. I felt so sorry for him, I actually put my hand on his shoulder and asked him if he was okay… he just smiled at me sadly. They used to come in all the time. Hopefully soon, he’ll get far away from her and her awful attitude!
Some people should be sterilized. Or put in a mental hospital.
Yep, that’s pretty much my experience too. More often than not you can tell it’s the parent who feels inadequate and intimidated by the prospect of something other than People or US Weekly entering the household. They assume that because there’s no way in hell they’d make it to page two, little Jimmy/Megan won’t make it past the front cover.
When you have to turn to your kid and ask, “Who wrote Romeo & Juliet?” (true story!) your ability to make decisions about what your child can or cannot read is severely hampered.
Wow, you deserve congratulations for managing to make it through a days work! These questions (especially the mom looking for a classic) are downright depressing. Most of the dumb questions I get asked are pretty normal and understandable compared to yours.
Oh, that poor boy. That’s one classy mom.
[...] although there is one thing I can tell you - don’t be like the woman from this post over at The Book Lady’s Blog. For sure she isn’t doing her son any [...]
That first exchange is priceless!
The mother and son make me so sad, though. Poor kid.
Lord. I feel so sorry for the boy who was looking for a classic. What a mother. Looking for Loter was a hoot.
These adventures are great! But like everyone else the mom/son conversation made me sad. :/ You should smack her over the head with War and Peace.
I love it when you write about work. Did you know that more weed is grown than any other crop in the U.S.?
Change the “t” in Loter to an “s,’” LOSER!
Oh, and there’s no way the moronic son of that moronic mother would ever understand Lord of the Flies! I’ve met the enemy, and he is an American Ignoramus!
[...] heading off to finish it in just a few minutes. This week, I also featured a new Adventures in Bookselling post and a literary tour of Richmond for Weekly [...]