Apr
17
Guest Book Review: Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman
2009 at 6pm Posted by Rebecca Joines Schinsky
Way back when I was but a wee Book Girl, I had this great friend named Kristen. We attended a gifted program together throughout elementary school and had tons in common, especially our love of reading. And then middle school happened, and I acted like a total snot, and Kristen and I lost touch. But a decade later, when I moved from Chicago back to Kansas to attend graduate school, we reconnected. Kristen was working near the university, and her boyfriend was in my department. So we saw each other a bit and chatted briefly. Don’t you love it when life does that for you?
In the years since, I’ve moved to Richmond, and Kristen is in San Diego, but we’ve stayed in touch through Facebook, shared book recommendations, and an appreciation of each other’s blogs. Hers is hilarious, and you’re welcome to visit it, as long as you don’t mind liberal use of the F word. A while back, I invited Kristen to write guest reviews here, and I’m happy to present her debut today.
Without further ado, here’s Kristen.
Set for publication May 5, 2009 from Doubleday (a division of RandomHouse)
Don’t let the title fool you. This book is not about the “bad mothers” that have become household names- the Susan Smiths, Andrea Yates, or Mary Kay LeTourneaus of the world. In Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace, Ayelet Waldman, mother of four, recounts the highs, lows, and in-betweens of motherhood.
Struggling to meet the expectations of her own mother, other moms, strangers, and herself, Waldman shares her stories with brutal honesty and no excuses. The specifics of Waldman’s stories- being ridiculed by a complete stranger for giving her baby a bottle, her anxiety about passing down her mental illness to her children, or the potential implications of the results of her amniocentesis- are unique to her family. However, many of the essays read as parables, with morals and life lessons spelled out in the final sentences.
Waldman intertwines a bit of social commentary into her personal accounts, addressing society’s fascination with Bad Mothers (thank you, Susan Smith, for making the rest of us look good), the increasingly high expectations parents put on their young children, and the struggle to instill hope in children amidst a rocky time in our nation’s history. Without regret, she recounts becoming infamous for once writing in an essay that she loves her husband more than her kids. Backlash from mommy blogs ensued. Waldman even appeared on Oprah. Maybe this is old news? I wouldn’t know. I’ve never read a mommy blog and I can’t recall ever hearing the name Ayelet Waldman before the ARC of this book arrived in my mailbox. But despite being 25, unmarried, and childless (probably a safe assumption that I’m outside the target demographic of this book), I highly enjoyed the stories and the candor in which Waldman shares them.
Read the controversial essay, visit the author’s website to learn more, and leave some bloggy lovin’ here to welcome Kristen.
Listen to an NPR “Fresh Air” interview with Waldman.



















I will admit to being someone who won’t read this book because of Waldman’s infamous interview. I can’t imagine how her kids will feel about that as they grow up. If I recall correctly, she even went so far as to say that although she’d be sad if her kids died, she’d get over it, but she’d be devastated if her husband died. I don’t think any child needs to hear that.
[...] Guest Book Review: Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman [...]
I haven’t seen Waldman’s infamous interview, but I did read the article that sparked the whole thing (as well as several follow-up pieces), and I must admit I’m curious. Like Kristen, I’m childless (and hadn’t heard of this brouhaha before either); maybe I’d feel differently if I had kids. In any case, I’d like to make up my own mind, so this one is now on my wish list. Great review!
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[...] to writer Ayelet Waldman, who discussed her own take on parenting in Bad Mother earlier this year (guest reviewed by my friend Kristen here). The couple have four [...]