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Oct
16
Book Review & Giveaway: The Longest Trip Home by John Grogan
2008 at 9am Posted by Rebecca Joines Schinsky
Available for purchase October 21st, 2008.
From the bestselling author of Marley & Me comes this beautiful memoir that I can only describe as a love song to family and an ode to unconditional love. The Longest Trip Home tells the story of John Grogan’s remarkably normal life. It was refreshing and wonderful to read a memoir that wasn’t filled with trauma and abuse. Don’t get me wrong—those are important stories that deserve to be told, and I’ve reviewed many of them here—but it was nice to read a book that is a testament to the idea that all of our life stories are important and have something to offer.
Raised by devoutly Catholic parents—and not just in the “go to church on Sundays” way, but in the “take family vacations to religious landmarks and walk up steps on your knees while praying the rosary” way—Grogan struggled with his parents’ expectations from the get-go. In one of the opening chapters, he writes about lying during his first confession (how could he confess to fantasizing about his teacher–a nun—naked?) and being more interested in girls than in the Mass.
While my brother was memorizing the Eucharistic prayer, I was memorizing as many breasts as I could fix my eyes on. Once Tommy Cullen move into the neighborhood, he joined me at the Altar of the Voluptuous Bosom. We both worshipped with the fervor of new converts and passed countless lazy afternoons discussing the relative merits of various boob sizes and shapes….Breasts became our business.
The Longest Trip Home is filled with stories like this one, stories of a normal boyhood—of growing up, going through the awkwardness and insecurity of puberty, having embarrassing moments that feel life-altering, and trying to figure out where you fit in. Grogan writes about his adventures with his best friends, of causing trouble and getting caught, of smoking, drinking, and trying to grow weed at home without getting caught (not a chance), and he writes about getting his first kiss and his first girlfriend and losing his virginity.
And underneath it all lies a deeply conflicted desire to do what he feels is right for him but to not disappoint his parents. So he allows them to believe what they want to believe—that he is virgin, that he doesn’t smoke or drink, and that he goes to Mass every week—and decides to deal with the consequences later. This struggle to be real and honest with his parents and have them accept him for who he really is is a major theme throughout the book, and Grogan does a beautiful job writing about the sometimes painful process of breaking away.
I gave my parents the same things my siblings had learned to give them: plausible deniability and enough leeway to allow them to believe they were succeeding in their lifelong mission to raise their children as devout and chaste practicing Catholics. None of us wanted to disappoint them.
When, at 30 years old, Grogan decides to tell his parents that he is moving in with his girlfriend, he begins to realize the toll it will take on them when they do learn the truth—that he was not a virgin, had not been to Mass in years, and had no intention to ask his girlfriend (and future wife) to convert to Catholicism or raise their children Catholic—and he realizes that
All my years of filtering the truth, of little deceits and outright lies, made it all the worse. With my help, they had allowed themselves to be deluded.
As Grogan gets married and has children, he and his wife develop a strong sense of who they are and what direction they will take, and the distance between them and Grogan’s parents widens. But they all continue to love and support each other, to do what families do…and that’s the beauty of it. Grogan knows his parents have only the best intentions, and he is not angry or bitter about their responses to his choices. These are his parents, and he loves them. We all face something like this with our parents, and Grogan’s telling of it is insightful, funny, and inspiring.
In the final section of the book, Grogan writes about watching his parents age and seeing the sad juxtaposition of his family’s life just beginning and his parents’ beginning to end. When his father is diagnosed with leukemia, Grogan finds himself again examining the issues of faith and belief that have defined his family, and he reflects on the stories and experiences that have made him who he is.
Family stories had always been the thread that stitched together the tapestry of our lives. They amused us in good times and soothed us in bad. They filled the awkward silences when things were not right and fueled the warmth when they were. Mostly they provided the context that made us something more than six people related by blood—the context that made us that messy, imperfect, spectacularly infuriating and confounding and essential entity, a family.
I nodded my head and laughed my way through the first two-thirds of the book, and then I found myself crying, tears rolling down my cheeks, as I read the final section, in which Grogan says goodbye to his father for the last time. I really don’t have words for how beautiful and moving The Longest Trip Home is. It revels in the simplicity of childhood and the complexity of growing up and the uncomfortable, all-important process of finding ourselves and breaking away. And it celebrates the heartbreaking beauty of a perfectly ordinary life. But ultimately, it celebrates family and the deep, indescribable, often unexplainable bonds that both lift us up and bring us to our knees.
The Longest Trip Home ranks among the best books I’ve read in the last several years, and I think almost everyone will find something to relate to and enjoy in it. This one gets a wholehearted 5 out of 5.
Click here to visit the author’s website and blog.
Since I somehow ended up with two ARCs of The Longest Trip Home, I’m going to give one away to one lucky reader. Leave a comment here to be entered, and blog about the contest (leave a link here) to triple your entries. Contest closes at 11:59pm Eastern next Monday, October 20th, open to residents of the U.S. and Canada only, please.
No related posts.
Don’t enter me – I have the book and I loved it – I’m glad to see you did, too.
Please enter me, I really like to read this book. Is this contest is open internationally?
I’m really looking forward to reading this one!
I have a copy at home, just sitting and waiting for me to finish up “Apart From the Crowd.” Beautiful review! I’ll definitely be back to post my thoughts once finished. I loved “Marley & Me” — Grogan is a very talented author. Pick that one up too, someday, Rebecca! 
I was reading it quite compulsively, which surprised me.
Gina–thanks for asking. I forgot to include the line that it’s open to residents of the U.S. and Canada only. I’ve made the correction now.
Great review! Please enter my name for the giveaway. This sounds like a wonderful memoir.
I tried to get this book from First Look and was not lucky that month. Please enter me. This book sounds wonderful. Great review.
thereedfamily at sbcglobal dot net
Please enter me. I love memoirs and loved Marley & Me.
Family has been on my mind lately, as my father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s a year ago and we are struggling to adjust to this new reality…
Please enter me in the giveaway, I’d love to read this book. Marley and Me is on my “To Read” list, but I haven’t found it at the library yet…
Superb review, and I’d love to be entered in your drawing. I live in the Philadelphia area, where Grogan used to be a regular columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer. I loved his columns, which covered a wide range of subjects. It was a thrill to see him be so successful with Marley & Me, and also nice to see that he wasn’t a “one hit wonder”.
That book sounds wonderful! I’m adding it to my wish list – I agree – on occasion I love to read a memoir that is a little lighter!
Please include me in your drawing – then I can move the book from the Wish List to the TBR pile!
~ Wendi
http://wendisbookcorner.blogspot.com
This sounds like a heartwarming story and we could use a few of those about now. Enter my name in your contest ,please.
Wow looks like a good read put me in!
I’d love to read this book. Please add my name in!
Sounds like a very interesting book to read. Would love to give it a try.
I would love to win this book! Also, I am hosting a giveway on my site; here is the link:
http://beastmomma.squarespace.com/from-shelf-to-hand/2008/10/16/giveaway.html
I enjoyed reading your review for this book and would love to be entered to win a copy.
hawkes(at)citlink.net
What a great review! I have been so anxious to read this book. I loved everything about Marley and Me – the story, the characters, the way he wrote – it made me laugh and cry. I was very happy to hear he had another book. Please enter me in your contest. I will add it to my blog too. Thanks for your contest!
http://www.wrightysreads.blogspot.com
Don’t enter me, as I already have the book. I just wanted to say how neat it was to read your different spin on the aspects of the book I was less enthusiastic about: what I saw as one over-used concept after another, you saw as “a testament to the idea that all of our life stories are important and have something to offer.” What a great way to look at it.
Please enter my name. I’ve read only good things about this book and look forward to reading it. Great review!
How lovely this sounds, and what a wonderful review. It’s obvious how much you enjoyed this one.
Please do enter my name in the giveaway .
Ali: At first, I had the same feeling. Then it dawned on me that the lessons he recalled learning felt over-used because they are lessons we all have to learn, and I just loved how he told the story. Glad you enjoyed a new perspective!
I am looking forward to reading this book. I loved “marley and me”. Hopefully this one will read as well as that did.
Please enter me in the contest.
Please submit my name for this book! Thanks.
Wonderful review! I was so excited when I heard that Grogan was writing a memoir as Marley And Me is one of my favorite books.
I would love to read this book. Thanks!
I would love to be entered to win this book. Thanks!
akreese (at) hotmail (dot) com
Please enter me in your contest. I couldn’t put Marley & Me down and I feel that I will be the same way with Grogan’s latest release.
Great review! This sounds like a wonderful book. I loved “Marley & Me,” so I’d like to read this one, too. Please enter me! Thanks!
[...] Blog About this time last year, I stayed up late one night to finish John Grogan’s memoir The Longest Trip Home. As I sobbed my way through its final chapters, grateful that my husband was no longer awake to [...]